It's True

Really cute shirt from Aunt Lindsey.

I have trouble with change but love change. I am sometimes prone to freaking out, but can usually talk myself down. I evidently am currently testing the myth that too much chocolate breaks your face out (or too many dark chocolate Raisinets...thanks Heather Jo :)), or is that too many pregnancy hormones?? I tend to get giggly or sometimes gloomy when I am tired. Did I say pregnancy hormones? I like to compile lists, over prepare for the worst and micro manage minutiae. I rarely remember where my list is and just get busy making new lists. I worry about worrying too much.  I like to be in control, but I prefer when others make decisions for me.  I always want to strive for better but so desire contentment.  I love my Charlie Belle so stinkin much, but I always want to put Steve first (that is so hard).  I want my house to be clean, but I would rather it look played-in then spotless. Since becoming a mom that whole thing were you walk into a room with a purpose and then have no idea why happens to me all to often.  I miss MommaBear when I feel like dancing or want an extra good snuggle.  I hate it when CB has boogers, she hates that I hate her boogers.  I feel like I would have been better designed with 4 arms, but I rest in the fact that God made us perfectly in His image.  I can't decide if naps are refreshing or just make me feel hung over.  I am thankful everyday for such a healthy baby, and so fearful that I can't possibly have the blessing of another healthy child (I vividly dream of caring for my sick baby in the hospital, like so many little ones I have cared for before).  I wonder how that would affect CB.  I am frustrated with myself for thinking like this, I pray that I can just trust God is in control.  I swore 4 months was the best age, then 5, then 6, then 7...  All fears aside, we feel so crazy blessed to be having another bambina (or bambino).  Good thing God declares children such an awesome blessing all the time...not just a blessing if...you have enough money, or a big enough house, or a stable enough job, or a nice 401k, or the ability to do swimming lessons, or music classes, or all organic home-made baby food...I'm just thankful He is so much bigger than all those things.  


Sorry to anyone I should have told and found out reading this.


Also, when your husband looks 18 years old and he's holding your then 7 month old and you are getting an ultrasound to find out when your next baby is due because you still have not had a legit last period, you get some crazy looks.


Update on the Charlie Belle...

Monkey from Dean that she loves!!

8 months old.
Sits like a champ.
Not crawling but attempts "the worm" which just makes her eat a lot of carpet (biggest moving motivator, the fingernail clippers, probably because she wants to hide them from me).
Loves to eat, but not green beans or peas.
Has a mean little pincer grasp and can pick up even tiny little things off the carpet.
Still loves baths.

Love that face.

Pats me on the back when I pick her up out of bed, never even noticed I had always done that to her until she kept doing it to me (but it's so cute and I love it).
Loves other kids.  Gets super excited and flails her arms when she sees Hartz and some other babies (depending on her mood).
Still gets loud, not as in crying loud, but yelling and pterodactyl noises and blowing raspberry's when she is tired loud.
Still takes 3 naps a day and sleeps 7:30pm-ish to 6:30-7am-ish.


Less then 7 months left to be an ONLY....baby Eastwood #2 due March 5, 2012.