random-ness

When CB was little-er (less then 6 months) I carted her everywhere.  We went places at night and just let her sleep wherever and then would sweep her up and bring her back home, feed her, and plop her in her own bed.  She was so portable.  Now I always laugh at how I feel "trapped."  Since bedtime became 7:30pm I always feel super guilty and selfish taking her out at night and having to wake her up to take her home and put her back to bed.  We still occasionally do it, as I know it will only get harder as she gets older, but now I feel much more driven to either stay in or get a babysitter, I feel this need to protect her sleep.  My friends laugh at how I "craft" now and wonder how I have the time.  I realized it was because I'm often home at night, particularly if McDaddy is out and about or working, and I never used to be. So, now I find little things to do as to not spend every night folding laundry and watching Netflix.  Oh how life changes, and oh how worth it, it is.  I'm always telling brand new momma's to go out and bring the baby because they will never be more flexible then they are when they are new peanuts, especially when you only have one.

It is strange how life gets more complicated with a child, yet so much more simple.  Faster paced, yet so much slower.  Your day is worked in "windows" of time.  Everyday life activities are more eventful. You spend more time at home then ever, and more time on the floor.  Productivity has a whole new meaning.  Going to work makes me so much more excited to come home, makes me hold Charlie Belle a little tighter, and appreciate time with her a little more.  Being at home a lot makes me so excited to go to work.  To work and use the schooling I spent so many years obtaining.  Work helps me to fulfill the need of feeling blissfully productive and helpful, makes me feel like I can continue to give-back, to use my brain in a different way, keeps me from feeling like my brain is atrophying.  Being a mom has profoundly impacted my work, my ability to connect with and empathize with parents, I feel as though being a mom has made me a much better and more confident nurse practitioner.  There is nothing like seeing my Belle after a long day away.  It's wonderfully worth-it, wonderfully hard, and yet surprisingly easy.

Sitting in the cart like a big girl, making all passer-by's day with giant smiles.  

Sweetest, most rare moment.  Siesta during a Par-tay.